We Lived, Laughed, Explored <3

My word for 2025 was exploration. For me, that meant committing to stepping outside my comfort zone as a writer, community member, friend, and more. Here’s what that looked like.

For the past two years, I have identified a word to serve as my guiding light throughout the twelve months that await me. In 2024, that word was audacity. Last year, my best friend picked exploration for me.

Exploration resonated with me for various reasons. First, it called on me to push myself as a writer. What does it mean to try different styles out until you find your voice? What does it look like to focus on the scary project rather than the one that feels more safe? Secondly, it made me reconsider the ways I lean toward comfort when navigating the world. For many of us, feeling uncomfortable is not something that we want to put ourselves through which is fair. However, I have found that stepping outside your comfort zone is what pushes you to grow. It might come with embarrassment but why should that stop us?

Before making decisions in 2025, I often asked myself: does this live into my commitment to explore? And if the answer was yes, that was a green light to proceed. If the answer was no, I moved on even if it was difficult. In no particular order, here’s how various areas of my life were impacted.

Writing

Me attempting to write literally anything.

I started the year off strong with a DIY solo-writing retreat, which really grounded me in my writing practice. It involved revisiting a short story that I felt very stuck on but hadn’t been able to give an ending to. Through various writing sprints and reading short stories, I was motivated and ultimately ended the week with a completed draft. I did two more writing intensive weeks (like this one in March), while juggling being a full-time student and work.

In May, I wrote about starting a writing fellowship through my job. While this opportunity meant spending less time on my fiction work, I do believe it has helped me develop my technical writing skills. It’s also not something I would’ve done in previous years given how little confidence I had. But one, two, three, four published opeds later, I can honestly this pushed me to write in a way I hadn’t before and, by extension, gave me the self-motivation I previously lacked which will be a huge game changer as I return to my fiction writing in 2026.

Relationships

Women’s Soccer Pride Game and Cats The Musical…two outings with friends that changed the trajectory of my gay little life.

Another part of my life that I did some deep exploration in was my relationships: platonic, romantic, and community-based.

I know this idea isn’t novel or revolutionary, but I have found it difficult to make friends as an adult, especially as a chronically ill, still-masking person. It’s easy for me to feel fulfilled by my long-distance friendships (shout out to literally all my friends who don’t live in Chicago) but I wanted to form connections with people near me. I managed to begin one strong friendship (shoutout to the cursed app that is Lex?) and am working on deepening some other friendships, too.

As for romance, dating has taught me a lot about myself lol. For one, I find earnestness very endearing and think acting *~too cool~* is so overrated. I also find it to be quite liberating to tell someone you’re not interested in continuing to pursue a connection, which might suck in the moment but we are too grown for ghosting. The last thing I’ll say is that I think we all need to practice matching the energy you receive so you will not find me having heart eyes for people who can’t even confirm a date. Sue me!

Lastly, being an active participant in your community is a sure way to avoid feeling hopeless. I highly recommend doing some research and getting involved with a group — preferably before things get Really Bad — so you know how and where you can plug in during heightened moments. If you’re in Chicago, I’m always happy to talk to people offline so hmu. If you’re not, then I would consider beginning with your local mask bloc, prison book program, abortion fund, or mutual aid group.

Crafting

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In an exciting turn of events, I began crocheting this year! I started with a one-off class that left me very confused but then I signed up for a 6-week class on a whim. My coworker ended up being in the same class and we quickly connected with the TA and another icon (who has the same name as my bestie…go figure!). Since then, we’ve been meeting up once a month to chat and crochet. The most important thing I want to point out here is that I’m not very good at it. I’ve been making granny squares for like 3 months at this point BUT it brings me joy! It makes me happy to create something with my hands! I love shopping for yarn and being confused by symbols in patterns!

What’s Next

While 2025 may be over, I hope to continue thinking about what it means to let myself explore. Maybe I will pivot my novel from third to first person. Maybe I hate doing that but I discover a character’s voice. Maybe I get rejected by three more residencies but get into the fourth one. Maybe I end up in a lesbian throuple that closely mirrors Challengers. Maybe I finally adopt a pet and my quality of life increases tenfold. Maybe I start a Book IG and it helps me stay on top of my reading and helps me get over my fear of being perceived. Maybe I take a risograph printing or piano lessons, or learn to sew or roller skate. I don’t know! But I do know that I’m in charge of this one little life I have and I do not want to have regrets just because I was too scared to be seen trying or be bad at something.

May 2026 be a year where you also explore.

Talk again real soon! 💌

Leslie

That’s it for now! If you have thoughts on what I wrote, please leave a comment below and/or give this post a save and share. Thank you for being part of my little online community.